thoughts on diving in

You don’t need to do this. It’s so much work, so much energy, and so much heart. Nobody else wants to (or wants you to) really, it’s just you, and if it is to happen then you have to keep pushing. They warned you about this – the well-meaning friends and mentors across the world, who have been in touch in various ways over the past few months. It’s so much easier to keep planning and dreaming of the great things you’ll do when out in the world, until, of course, it’s on you to do them. And there come in a great, crushing wave, those important lessons of humility and perspective.

dem GYPSYs

There you are, Gypsy – nothing but a GYPSY after all. Raised on rainbows and a constant light breeze, chafing for a taste of the storm, unwilling to face a world with days like this one – days of sun and stillness, and you as a speck with nothing but volition to blow you along. It’s so much responsibility, Real Life. And to decide to do something with the resources and blessings at your disposal, it takes so much more than you thought. Things don’t just happen – you have to coordinate (ugly word), and fill Google calendars, and to wait, and to constantly be reminded that you don’t know nearly enough. And that six months down the road, you might actually not-succeed. You can make yourself happy with your stacks of colorful paper, but to breathe life into them takes so much more than ink. So, take your notes under your arm. If you’re going to do this, make a list of things that you want to remember.

1. Do not, for instance, compromise on quality. Know when it’s happening, and reassess motives and process.
2. Tread carefully that line between communication and self-serving promotion.
3. Do not exploit people (children and families and friends and husbands). This is your thing. Appreciate what they have to offer (voluntarily) and accept it with long-lasting gratitude, but do not take for granted.
4. Find your passion, find it, find it, kindle and rekindle it and keep a little spark so that it comes naturally to do it with joy.

Suddenly, there is that much more appreciation for people who just forge ahead, though they could sit back and have nothing to prove. There is respect, even for those who you may not entirely agree with. It takes more courage than you might have, and hurdles come in different forms. For now, maybe all you need to get past yours is the fear of this regret: that you never even gave it a shot.